85 // Information Overload: Why Having Access to More May Be Making You Feel Like Less as a Mom
Why Having Access to More May Be Making You Feel Like Less as a Mom
Do you ever notice that when you're in a state of too much mental clutter, you somehow just add to the mound in attempts to find a way out?
It's as if, when our brains are already spinning with ideas and yet we are feeling stuck in the spiral of insecurities and struggles of feeding our families, that we reach for more, more, more.
...and we wonder why we still struggle.
But because of this piecemeal, grab as we go, random, haphazard approach, we aren't making momentum month after month, year after year.
The reason we struggle in the same ways is because we don't have systems set up nor the skills built nor strategies in place to actually create healthy habits. We also are turning to all the wrong people and places for support.
That's why, in this episode, I am going to challenge you to evaluate some of the reasons that you may be feeling stuck and what may be adding to your overwhelm. With this, you can walk away with a clearer perspective on how to best take action come the New Year!
Listen to this episode of The Veggies & Virtue Podcast now!
Full Episode Transcription
Please note this a raw transcription. If something doesn’t read correctly, toggle to that timestamp in the show so that you can listen in on what was actually being said!
[00:00:00] But if you can identify the sources that are giving you that clarity and that confidence that you need, then as you begin to envision and understand what God has for you in the upcoming year and what your objectives are with feeding your family in the months moving forward, you know where to turn.
[00:00:21] You're not Googling this and that, and you're not adding to the noise, and you're not piling on more mental clutter. You are going to a source that you know gives you credible, trusted support. And information and answers in the ways that you need it most.
[00:00:45] Hey mama. I'm Ashley and welcome to the Veggies and Virtue Podcast. In this podcast, you will find simple menu ideas, kitchen organizational systems, spelled out for mom life, and feeding tips and tricks that are both evidence-based and grace lace. I believe that you can find flexibility when it comes to feeding your family so that you can feel calm, capable, and connected in the kitchen.
[00:01:04] As a registered dietician and Christian mom of three myself, I want you to break free from the mealtime battles and to feel equipped while feeding your kids all day long. Pull up a stool at my kitchen counter and let me pour you a cup of coffee and say a quick prayer for you. It's time to chat about the meal times, messes moments, and ministry of motherhood.
[00:01:25] So I just got back from visiting California. I went to help my grandmother move into a re rehab facility for a little while after she recovered from a hip replacement surgery that unfortunately she wasn't expecting to have. But the reason I bring this up is because she's 98, she lives independently. Up until this incident, and I thought it was really interesting because as a younger mom myself, I was thinking about how when we're preparing to go to the hospital to have a baby, , we often pack our hospital bags with the essentials that we need for when the baby arrives.
[00:01:59] And at 98, my grandma informed me that you have something very similar. and she calls it her go bag, but it's basically a hospital bag. So if and when an incident happens, in this case, she fell and broke her hip. The medics that come and help her could grab her go bag or grab her hospital bag. So she had what she needed when she got to the hospital.
[00:02:20] So as I was thinking through this episode, it just made me think about it. Cause I've been thinking about just a lot of different elements of our trip and I was thinking about. In motherhood, how we often start with our hospital bag, but then we come home and then we just begin accumulating more and more and more as if everything is essential.
[00:02:44] and it's just too much. Because I think as moms, especially when we're new moms, when we begin maybe feeling anxious about breastfeeding or we're worried about how to introduce solids, or we're dealing with our toddler climbing out of its chair or our picky eater who's refusing what's being offered, we begin asking, what do we do?
[00:03:04] And while these are maybe bigger, more landmark aspects of feeding our kids and the struggles that we may have gone through as parents, I think of the repetitive nature of mealtimes and coming up with meals and snacks every day, and the struggles that I know firsthand as a mom of three come up, rather than reducing it down to what are the essentials so that I can be successful in working through this situation with my child and for my family.
[00:03:31] We often. Begin just adding and adding and adding and adding. And in the world that we live in, unlike the world that my grandmother lived in, we have access to so much information and we have all these great tools and resources at our fingertips. But with that, all of us know how easy it is to just reach our phone.
[00:03:54] and Google something or text a friend or call someone or scroll social or do all these different forms of input. And I think why it made me think so much of my grandma is one, just because, you know, sitting with her and spending 12, 14 hours a day just talking, you know, next to her bedside. I always get such interesting perspective from her life.
[00:04:16] But I think there's some things that we can really take away from that perspective. That's adding to some of the mental clutter and overwhelm that as moms we feel. So what does support look like in our day and age? And I want us to go through four takeaways I had from my visit with my 98 year old grandmother.
[00:04:38] Oftentimes as moms, what I see happening is that we start to have shame and. or we're really anxious and overwhelmed and we feel like we're a bad mom, that we're not doing enough, that we're not doing it well enough and we question ourself because there's such a surplus of information out there that it seems like no matter how much we consume, we haven't consumed enough because there's more out there and there's more learning for us to do, and there's more growing for us to do, and there's more just potential that we could be doing.
[00:05:12] We may not even know about. And there's that anxiety of we don't even know what we don't know as moms. And so while we start with this hospital bag, there's two ways we often go about it. We either don't have the tools we need as moms because we're still operating out of an essentials that no longer fits our lifestyle.
[00:05:36] And that's obviously not the most effective option or. We begin just accumulating more and more and more and more, and that mental clutter becomes so overwhelming and often the questions that it produces often become counterproductive to us actually making progress. So what I want us to ask is for Quest, or four considerations I should say, to what kind of support you are, seek.
[00:06:09] Maybe over this past year and how that might need to be modified to support you with the essentials that you need in the upcoming year. So the first thing that I learned from my grandmother is I want you to sit with it. I want you to take a minute and reflect on 2020. What went well, what didn't, and obviously this could be in any way, especially as it's year end, and I know it's a really reflective time for people.
[00:06:38] I'm obviously kind of narrowing in on the feeding side of things, but I want you to ask yourself about the support that you got this year. It may be from physical people and obviously that's a best case scenario, but I know for myself not having family local, and I know for a lot of you listening, you may not have a great physical support system near you.
[00:07:00] But we all also know that there's a tremendous access to online support, and that can be great. But I want you to ask yourself, is it support that you're actually getting or is it simply inspiration information that's ultimately adding to overwhelm? Because I think there is a difference, and part of the reason I think of this is because with my grandma, With her being immobile in this hospital bed, she couldn't even reach for her hospital phone, which wasn't a smartphone, and she didn't have all these tools at her fingertips.
[00:07:39] And even until I got in town, she didn't have the physical support right there to constantly ask questions to or to have, do things for her. And while she had great support, staff and nurses and the people there are wonderful, I know for her. She had to sit with some of what was going on and she had to mentally process it.
[00:08:00] And I think there's so much that we can glean from that as moms before we reach for the information or inspiration, and before we're attempted into that position of such overwhelm that we just sit with ourself and ask, where is my truest support really coming from? And where is my greatest source of overwhelm coming from?
[00:08:20] And to begin to discern those two as separate things. . And I think that leads to the second thing to think about is what are your essentials in the season you're in right now? If you had to reduce down everything to a simple consolidated go bag, what would be in it? What are those resources that you're leaning on the most right now?
[00:08:41] Who are those experts that you're trusting the most right now? Where are those places that you know you can turn and you're not worried that you're missing something because you're not trying to consume the whole worldwide? , but you have these places of support that are supporting you with enough, but not too much.
[00:09:04] The third thing I want you to think about is when you do find yourself to begin wanting and needing, and thoughtfully again, after sitting with yourself, after considering the essentials, when you thoughtfully realized you do need to begin to add. Tools to your tool belt and you do need to begin to build off these essentials.
[00:09:24] You know, I didn't leave my grandma in California with just her go bag. I went to her house and collected the items that were most essential for her for this new phase of staying in rehab. And, you know, it, it was very, very specific list of what was going to support her best. I want you to ask yourself, what is that support and how will you reach for it, access it, and consume?
[00:09:49] In a way that doesn't add to mental clutter or physical clutter. Sometimes it can be the physical things we can think. We need all the tips and tricks and all the physical tools to make us feel like we're equipped. But it's not that you need more, it's just that you need the right ones. And so I want you to think of how will you begin adding more and do you know in which order it even makes sense to do so?
[00:10:17] Because particularly in the feeding space, something I see happening all the time is that we piecemeal together all these things and it's like we took a couple pieces from 30 different people, people's puzzles, and we wanna put it all together into. But the puzzle pieces just don't fit because we don't know what order they go in.
[00:10:36] And even if we're trying to build a similar picture of raising healthy eaters and having a positive relationship with food within our family and making it in an enjoyable mealtime environment, we don't know how to put it all together. And so it becomes very piecemeal. And again, that just further perpetuates the mental clutter and the physical clutter.
[00:11:00] that we have. And with that, I want the fourth and final thing to reflect on, to be, how do you respond when it gets to be too much? Maybe you realize at the at year end you're finding yourself, you added a lot in 2022, and maybe you don't even find yourself in a different place. That's the unfortunate thing, right?
[00:11:22] Oftentimes we consume more. And we realized we actually didn't even make it as far as we had hoped had we just consumed less. And so when we're looking at the support systems that we have and the resources that we're leaning on for such support, I want you to also ask with your ask yourself, similar to in the first reflection is how do you respond when it is too much or when you do begin to kind of have that sensory overload?
[00:11:51] Because with my grandma, , I could see, I could see that, you know, between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM all the specialty services were coming in, the pt, the ot, the nursing, the lunch tray, you know, there's someone to give her a bath and all of these different things. and my sweet grandma was overwhelmed. It was like there's 24 hours in the day and everything's happening at this four hours.
[00:12:14] And as a mom, I feel like that could be said from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM every day. It seems like everything hits in those four hours of the day, and it can be very overwhelming. And so again, as you reflect on the past year and begin to goal set and envision some of the things that you're hoping for in the upcoming year, I want you to think about how are you going to respond.
[00:12:34] When it gets to be too much or when you realize that that essentials go bag that you have is no longer serving you well and you don't have the tools to handle all that's coming at you. Because for my grandma, she was able to circle back to that first reflection. She was able to sit with the things that were going on and communicate to me, this is too much.
[00:12:54] I need to ask X, Y, Z. And you know, that is a caveat of the conversation that doesn't need to be continued. But for you, I want you to think. , what is that stressful time of day? Because just this week I was talking to a family that, you know, they're trying to find out where they even get started and taking action and how do they even begin when everything feels so overwhelming and trying to help them understand what is the, or I should say, identify first.
[00:13:22] What is the most overwhelming at this point? It's not that there's not an aspect of overwhelm in a lot of different areas with feeding our families, but starting with the area that's the most over. , all of healing from my hip replacement surgery is overwhelming for my grandma. All of this displacement and injury and recovery is overwhelming.
[00:13:40] It is understandably so, but we had to hone in on what time of day was creating the most stress and overwhelm for her. What? Aspects of that could be altered. There's some things beyond her control. Lunch is served at the same time every day, but what order could we begin to put things in so that it started making more sense?
[00:14:00] Because as I mentioned, if we don't know how all these pieces fit together, it's just a pile and a mess. But for my grandmother, we could begin to start thinking through how to address that overwhelm and how we respond to that so that she didn't have the sensory over. , but she could begin to thrive within some of the structure that was in place during those most intense moments, or most, you know, trying aspects of what she was going through.
[00:14:32] So I hope that you can do these four reflections. Number one, sitting with it, reflecting on how things are going, what support you have, and what support you feel like you need in the next. Number two, identifying what are your essentials? Is it time that you update your go bag from Maybe say one that like, for my grandma was built for summer and now it's winter.
[00:14:54] Maybe you do need to update those essentials. Number three, ask yourself, in what way are you going to intentionally add to your go back? In which ways are you going to begin accumulating? in a way that's intentional and not so excessive that it becomes overwhelming. And number four, how are you going to respond when you find yourself just facing too much or overwhelmed and overloaded by everything that's going on?
[00:15:24] And how are you going to pause and reflect in a way that helps you to hone in on the structure and routine that's gonna help you succeed the most moving forward? So go and write down these four. , this is how, this is how we can start making the baby steps to coming up with the systems and the strategies and the skills that you need to get outta bed and to begin moving the steps to rebuilding whatever it is you're after.
[00:15:52] And while maybe it is a stretch for me to be using the example of my grandmother, because that's so top of mind to me right now, and it feels like one of those insurmountable obstacles, I know that some of you right now amidst the holidays and all the mental overwhelm, are feeling that too. And so if nothing else, my hope is that you walk away from this episode today at least being able to identify.
[00:16:13] So some of those sources that may be giving you information and inspiration, but they're not giving you that support. because I think there's a huge difference in this world, especially this world of online, and everyone knows everyone, and yet no one knows anyone. And so I just hope and I pray because as we approach the new year, and as you begin outlining your upcoming goals and the aspirations you have for the months and the year ahead, you need to know where that source is.
[00:16:42] You need to know what source you're gonna be going to when you have these things that you want to accomplish. Because if you continue to just add to the mental clutter, your next year is going to continue to be overwhelming. But if you can identify the sources that are giving you that clarity and that confidence that you need, then as you begin to envision and understand what God has for you in the upcoming year.
[00:17:07] And what your objectives are with feeding your family in the months moving forward. You know where to turn. You're not Googling this and that, and you're not adding to the noise. You are going to a source that you know, gives you credible, trusted support and information and answers in the ways that you need it Most.
