How To Make Feeding Schedules
If you’ve been following along for this series, by now you know the importance of mealtime structure and the 6 steps to establishing routine, and you’re probably ready to get cracking on making feeding schedules of your own! Well, good news friend! Today we wrap up this series with a super comprehensive post that outlines exactly how to make your own feeding schedules.
Use the information in this post to put together a feeding schedule that works well for your unique family, no matter your children’s ages or life stages. And in the future, when ages and life stages change, just revisit this post to quickly and easily tweak your schedule!
6 Steps to Routine
Before we get started, it’s worth recalling the 6 steps to establishing routine that we covered last week. These are:
Consolidating what you’re currently doing;
Reconsidering what counts as a snack;
Closing the kitchen between meal and snack times;
“Opening the floodgates”;
Adapting as needed; and
Involving your child whenever possible.
If you missed last week’s post, go back and read it and then pop back over here. You’ll be much better prepared to conquer your new feeding schedule this way!
Creating Feeding Schedules for Children By Age
Okay, one more thing before we get started!
To be as prepared as possible, I recommend taking the time to jot down any information that you want to keep in mind as you make your schedule, based on your child’s age. You can use this information to customize your plan and make it something you can really stick with. Ask yourself:
“What does a good feeding schedule look like for us at this age?”
Feeding Schedules for Infants
Considerations
At this age, you might be:
Breast or bottle feeding
Beginning to offer solids (whether it’s purees or finger foods) puffs
Using food and feedings to soothe
Fitting feedings in around limited wake times
Feeding early or apart from family meals because of limited wake times
Planning
Infancy is the only life stage where the child gets to determine when they eat. As shared in this article on the Division of Responsibility in feeding, parents are to be responsive and adaptive to an infant's cues for hunger and fullness rather than enforcing an arbitrary routine during the first year. Provide milk feedings on demand during infancy in accordance with your child’s hunger cues and stop when they show that they are satisfied.
Instead of structuring meals, as solids are introduced, parents can continue to learn and grow in their role of the feeding relationship by focusing on what is being offered. I share some ideas for this here.
Start introducing structured meals 1-3 times a day from 6-12 months. As milk feeds begin to be weaned, families can also plan to start offering snacks instead of or in addition to whatever breastmilk or formula is being offered.
Emphasize energy-rich foods. Similar to the combination of foods offered here, begin offering more satiating foods for meals so that as your infant becomes a toddler, meals become more well-rounded to help fill and fuel them between more structured eating opportunities.
Feeding Schedules for Toddlers
Considerations
At this age, newfound mobility means toddlers are easily distracted, almost always on the go, and much less interested in the highchair!
They’re past the stage of rapid growth in infancy, and as their rate of growth declines, so does their appetite. It is normal for toddlers, who were once zealous about food, to avoid food or eat seemingly very little in comparison to what they ate in this stage of development.
It’s normal to seek independence and autonomy at this stage! Add this to their innate feeding temperaments, and you see fun things like boundary pushing and tantrums when limits are imposed.
Because toddlers tend to prefer common “snack” foods, they often push back against meals (when more nutrient-dense options are often served).
Getting bigger means they may be uncomfortable in an infant seat, or prematurely advanced to an adult chair. Lacking postural support can compromise their ability to stay seated for the duration of a meal.
Planning
Establishing structure in the early and impressionable years that follow infancy and go into childhood is key. Depending on which of the above apply to your child, you might choose to:
Designate where meals happen. This is for safety, so your child doesn’t learn to eat while on the run. It also helps reinforce structure to give them time to slow down, eat, and tune in for an early understanding of appetite before transitioning to the next activity.
Plan to offer nutrient-dense options. That way, if they only eat a bite or two, you’ll know that they got as much nutrition as possible in with those few bites.
Offer 4-5 “mini meals” per day, in place of three larger meals and two standard “snacks.” This can help to neutralize what your child sees as a “snack” food and leverage their small stomach, while still giving them frequent chances to refuel.
Know it is normal for a child to push back, protest, or pretend as though they are starving. The boundaries and standards you set up now will serve both you and your toddler well for years to come.
Invest in a transitional chair to keep them comfortable and supported at the table. Many can work from infancy into adolescence. Some of my favorites are shared here.
Feeding Schedules for Young Children
Considerations
Young children tend to:
Have more structure and routine in their days with (pre)school, extra-curricular activities, and longer days without naps.
Become more sophisticated in their understanding of food culture, and more competent in their skills. They can now help with things like grocery shopping, meal prep, and family-style meals.
Be more aware of outside influence. They pay attention to what and how others eat, the ways others speak about food (for better or worse), and they inquire about why your family eats as it does.
Face new transitions like welcoming younger siblings, starting school, etc. This can show up in meal time behaviors if they’re seeking attention or connection.
Be prone to food jags and falling into brand loyalty, which can perpetuate picky eating.
Planning
As children start to get used to more routine and structure in their everyday lives with the addition of (pre)school and activities, leverage the routines that naturally fall in place. To do this:
Work meals and snacks around their existing schedule, prioritizing family meals as often as possible.
Reflect consistency as much as possible. If you know your child’s preschool days have a certain feeding schedule, see if your days at home can reflect it. This will promote similar appetite regulation between different days of the week.
Engage with your child when they ask questions or take interest in outside influences or other’s food customs. Dialoguing to find out more about what they understand will better guide your answer and approach.
Find opportunities for connection through food, but don’t cater your food parenting practices to their attention-seeking behaviors. Connection at the table, and away from the table, is important and possible while still maintaining sDOR.
Continue to rotate the foods you buy and offer. This helps your child to be exposed to many options and come to expect variety in what is offered.
Feeding Schedules for Older Children
Considerations
Older children tend to:
Have more set schedules with school and activities
Be too busy for proper family mealtimes
Experience increases in appetite with growth spurts or increased activity
More impacted by social influence
Planning
Older children have busier lifestyles and can quickly miss the importance of regular, proper fuelling for their growth and development. While they are becoming older and more independent with activities of daily living, remember that they are still children. Come alongside them to:
Identify rhythms and routines that meals and snacks can work with their existing schedule.
Coach them in how to plan snacks to fuel for after-school sports or extended activity in the evenings (which often pushes dinner to earlier or later).
Discuss how family meals will be handled on nights when one or more family members are out of the house or shuttling kids around. This can minimize last minute decision making (i.e. the drive thru) and help to identify how and when family meals happen, even if served at separate times or saved as a leftover for others.
Self-regulate and gain competency in knowing the volume of food as well as the density of foods they need to eat in order to be satisfied between meals and snacks.
Encourage health-promoting social activities. Be it a team-wide approach to wellness with after-school activities or hosting cooking competitions during sleepovers (instead of junk food benders), find ways to use social influence to your child’s advantage.
Feeding “Schedules” for Adolescents
Considerations
As your child becomes more independent, it’s likely that:
Daily routines will vary depending on the day of the week.
Sleep schedules will be different on weekdays vs. weekends.
“Bedtimes” become later and later (whether they’re at set times or not)
Social life begins to influence their eating habits, with more social eating opportunities and chances to snack and graze with friends popping up.
Planning
With your child becoming more autonomous every day, you’ll want to let them begin to take over more and more responsibility in the feeding relationship. While your “role” as the parent remains until your child moves away from home, you want to continue to foster the development of life skills in them so that they know how to handle their own health when out on their own. To foster this:
Have them work through their own meal planning for a week. Let them identify what meals or snacks they need to pack, recognize when such prep or packing will take place, and plan for how to store or pack such foods for themselves.
Allow them to come grocery shopping with you to help find new options to fuel their activities. If you together identify an issue around hunger at certain times of day, work together to come up with nourishing solutions that fit their schedules.
Invite them to cook at least one meal per week and build that into the routine. The goal is that by the time they leave the house, they have enough competence to cook and feed themselves, so make sure you are working towards this goal from early adolescents on.
Encourage structured meals and snacks, especially in the afterschool and evening hours when it is easy for kids to graze. Remind them to put food in a dish, eat mindfully, and then get more as they need.
Monitor for any concerns with body image or eating issues. Adolescence often skip meals or may adopt binge-eating behaviors due to body dysmorphia, bullying, or other social influences. Seek help from a registered dietitian if these concerns persist past a momentary event.
Time To Make Your Feeding Schedule!
Grab a pen and paper (or download my free template below!) and let’s get to work on making the feeding schedule you’ve been waiting for!
Step 1: Determine Wake & Sleep Times
This one’s pretty straight forward, but start by listing out when your child wakes up, when they nap (if they nap), and when they head to bed. If sleep isn’t a structured thing in your household, it will make establishing structure and routines around eating a bit more challenging day to day.
Step 2: Note Normal Meal Times
Next, jot down your family’s usual or average meal times. Try to do this based on a “normal” day in your house-- not one when you’re going from school to dance class to soccer practice and skidding through the drive thru at some point in between!
Step 3: Add in Snacks, As Appropriate
Now, fill in the gaps between meals with snacks. Remember that ideally, you want your snack- and mealtimes to be about 2-3 hours apart, from the start of one eating opportunity to the start of the next. This may follow other routines (like serving a snack as soon as they get home from school regardless of when school lunch or their last snack was) so that it doesn't encroach too much on dinner.
Wondering how long snacks and meals should take? Here’s an easy guide:
2 minutes/year for snacks
5 minutes/year for meals
Now that you’ve outlined when snacks and meals fit into your child’s day, you have your feeding schedule. If only the work stopped here!
Step 4: Maintain Consistency & Routine to Promote Appetite Regulation
The real work starts now. Especially if your child is used to eating on demand, expect that it will take some time for everyone to adjust (around two weeks is what I’d prepare for).
If your child seems to really struggle with the transition and gives you lots of push back, you’ll want to keep in mind the tips I mentioned above about setting loving limits and sticking to your guns. A lack of consistency is the number one contributor to a family's struggle with establishing structure. The less you stick to it, the longer your child will likely push against it.
If you are struggling with the transition because you’re afraid your child will starve, or you find yourself giving into their feeding preferences, read this post if you haven’t already. It should strengthen your resolve and help you carry on with confidence!
Step 5: Adapt Timing and Meal & Snack Density As Needed
Even once your whole family is on board and you’re going full steam ahead with your new feeding schedule, continue to monitor it. Every so often, reflect critically on what’s working, what’s not, and what you might want to change to make things run even smoother.
A few things that signal it might be time for a change are:
Night wakings
Can’t-make-it-until-dinner hunger levels
Only eating snacks, no meals
Too full or under-fuelled for activities
If you are experiencing these, revisit step five from this post for more insight on adapting your routine if/when needed.
Enjoy your new feeding schedule and the peace of mind it brings!
I’m proud of you for doing the work to create and execute a plan that’s tailored for your family’s unique needs and routines. The steps you’re taking now will help you create a more positive feeding environment and foster healthy, happy relationships with food for your whole family!
To make creating your feeding quick and easy, download your copy of my feeding schedule template below! It’ll easily outline all of your future feeding schedules, so all you have to do is execute your new limits with love!