75 // The Most Common Mistake Moms Make with Holiday Planning
The Most Common Mistake Moms Make with Holiday Planning
(and how you can avoid it)
This can be a busy time of year. Going from Halloween right into the holidays, it seems like there is so much demand for our attention. That’s why, in this episode I am going to tell you one of the most common mistakes I have made as a mom, and how I wish I would’ve avoided it sooner. You can use this as part of your holiday planning, but also, I will share how it applies to annual events throughout the year to minimize my mental clutter, eliminate confusion, and save my future-self hours of planning and can for you too…
In this episode, we chat about:
What one thing you need to start doing now
When you know you need to start doing it
Why you need to start doing it
How to start doing it with real life examples and action steps
Listen to this episode of The Veggies & Virtue Podcast now!
Full Episode Transcription
Please note this a raw transcription. If something doesn’t read correctly, toggle to that timestamp in the show so that you can listen in on what was actually being said!
[00:00:00] I know that like myself, you are probably feeling like this is already a very busy time of year. Going from Halloween and right into the holidays, it can seem. There's just so much demand for our attention, and that's why in this episode, I want to tell you about one of the most common mistakes that I have made as a mom and how I wish I would've avoided it sooner.
[00:01:11] You can use this as part of your holiday planning, but also I wanna share with you how it applies to annual events throughout the year so that you can minimize your mental clutter, eliminate confusion, and save your future self. So many hours of planning. So I'm going to outline it for you in a few.
[00:01:26] Number one, I want you to know what one thing I think you should start doing and what I really, really, really wish I would've taken the two seconds to do. Or maybe two minutes to do earlier on in motherhood because it would've saved me tenfold the amount of time or more in the future. I also wanna share with you when you know you need to start doing this habit, why you need to start doing it, and how you can practically and tactically start doing it as well.
[00:01:50] To start out though, I wanna share with you kind of where this idea came for me, because when I was planning what episode I wanted to do, as we kind of segued off of Halloween and into the holiday season, I started thinking about just my desire for you to take a minute to just reflect on how Halloween went.
[00:02:06] I obviously spent a lot of time and if you listened in, you spent a lot of your time tuning in and trying to really grasp some of these concepts that we've talked about on the podcast. Throughout October featuring Halloween and candy and how to handle sweetss and treats and things like that. And so the kind of the heart of this episode was to encourage you to reflect a little bit on what worked, what didn't work, and what were some of your key observations about how Halloween went for you and your family this year.
[00:02:36] What do you feel like? Really good about that went well. And the opposite as well. What do you feel like didn't go well or that you would want to change in the future? And as I was thinking about this, the example that came to mind that is really what we're gonna walk through today is the first time our family went on an annual camping trip.
[00:02:58] And I share this example because we go with one of our best friends' families each year. So fun. The kids are all the same ages and they all get to play and we get two cabins right next to each other and it's kinda like glorified camping. We stay in just these shell of a cabin where, I mean, they're beautiful log cabins and they have electricity.
[00:03:16] And they have plumbing, which is a great bonus when camping, but they definitely still make you feel just as dirty as if you were camping. You know, you have to bring all your toilet paper, all your linens for the beds, the towels, the bath mats, all the dishes. All the pots and pans, literally everything.
[00:03:32] And so the pack list is by far the biggest pack list I've ever had to make. I, you know, I haven't gone traditional camping since we've had kids, but this is the closest and at least our family that we've been, and that first year that we. I remember just having this exhaustive list and trying to think of everything in advance and trying to prepare ourself as best as we could in advance.
[00:03:54] And yet, sure enough, as soon as we got there, between myself and the other mom and my family and their family, there were so many things that we just didn't know until we knew it. And while we were there, we kept thinking, Oh, we'll have to remember this for next year. We'll have to remember this for next year.
[00:04:08] Oh, we need to remember to bring this next year or next year we should remember to do this. And we kind of kept making all these mental notes. However, the reality is the mental weight of motherhood. I heard Jenna Kutcher say it recently and I, one of her podcast episodes, and I think she said it as the mental weight of motherhood is, And I just remember that stuck with me so much because it really is, And while it's joyful and doing these amazing family memories and you know, making these memories together, like this annual family camping trip is so fun and such a big priority to me.
[00:04:44] That doesn't mean that I have a lot of mental capacity to remember all those things that came up while we were. And so bringing this back to Halloween, one of the things my girlfriend and I did on the way home, and I actually have to give her credit the first year because we drive in separate cars since we have so many things to bring and you know, our own family with three kids each, and I remember her and I saying, You know, the best time to make our list for next year is right.
[00:05:15] And so on the way home brainstorming, what is our pack list for next year? What are all those things? Yes. That we brought this year that we're glad we did? What is that exhaustive list that we had right now before you know, if it was a paper copy, before we throw it in the trash, let's write down all those things that we brought.
[00:05:31] Let's write down what each meal required from pots and pans and spatulas and utensils and serving dishes and plates and spoons and all those different things. Let's write it all down right now while it's fresh in our mind and in this. We were driving for several hours to get home, so we kind of were our own captive audience and we could do it, but as soon as we got home, it would've been so low on the priority list.
[00:05:55] We always go right after, or excuse me, right during Thanksgiving week, and so we get home usually the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and then it's like, Get the groceries for Thanksgiving, host Thanksgiving dinner, have Thanksgiving weekend where we're setting up all the Christmas decorations and it's just like immediately we're thrown right back into the holiday hustle.
[00:06:13] And so taking that little moment on the drive home, or even just she and I at the, you know, picnic table before we've left camping has been one of the biggest things as a mom that I've tried to remind myself I can do, because I think it's one of the biggest mistakes that I, I've made. Reflecting, not just on this annual camping trip.
[00:06:37] While that has been hugely helpful, and I'll walk through kind of like how we've done it and the, you know, the tactical and practical side of that a little bit more, but thinking about it from an annual perspective, and especially as we go into the holidays, if you find yourself traveling, you'll find yourself sitting in that seat where you can very easily remember what that pack list you just packed was.
[00:06:56] Or you can at least access it really quickly because you know exactly where. And you can make notes either while you're away or while you're doing something on how to prepare better for next year. So it might be all those little things that you write down, Oh, we need to remember this for next year. Oh, we should do this next year.
[00:07:13] Or, Oh, I wanna, you know, pick or pack or do whatever it might be next year. I need to remember. The reality is, is we're not going to remember it. We have way too much of a mental load as moms, and even if it's good, we can't expect ourself to remember it even three days out, as I mentioned when we got home.
[00:07:35] There's no way after coming back from camping and unpacking and going through all that super dirty laundry and getting into Thanksgiving mode and then Christmas mode. I would've even remembered it a week later. So it's unrealistic, and it was a huge mistake that I have made in motherhood to think that a month later or especially a year later, I would remember any of these things.
[00:07:57] And so if I can save any of you from making the mistake that I have made, as I prepare for our annual packing trip here in just like another a week or so, I'm thinking about this list and how having those core takeaways and having a very clear concrete list of all the things I want to remember that I don't have to keep in my brain is so, so helpful.
[00:08:21] I have notes about what worked and what didn't work. I have observations about the things that we really loved and. And maybe some of the energy spent on things that we could have totally eliminated and no one would've cared. And so as we relate this to Halloween and as we look forward to things like Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want you to think about those things.
[00:08:41] I want you to reflect on what were some of those things that just went really well. It might be aspects to your routine. It might be aspects to, you know, and again, without looking too far back at Halloween or too far forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas, just thinking about some of those things, were there recipes that you made that you wanna remember the link for next year?
[00:09:03] Or were there purchases that you made that you thought were a great. I know this year I just allocated out and bought like Boo, like you've been booed cookie kits from a lady at our church and it was so much easier for me than trying to like go and ga, you know, take the kids to like gather all the things for Boo Baskets.
[00:09:23] It was so much easier to support her and her business and the ministry that she has through that business and just buy these. You've been booed darling. Little cookies. And not go through all the dread. That just did not bring me joy at holiday or at Halloween. I know, you know, sharing some of the reflections that I've shared on the podcast already of things like my daughter loved that we put candy out in the fruit bowl for a couple days and just thinking through some of these patterns of things that just worked for our family and note.
[00:09:50] That of course they might evolve year after year, especially as our kids go through different ages and stages. But just taking a couple minutes to reflect on how the holiday went. You know, my husband and I were talking about this the other day, the way that we set up our trick or treating outside in our neighborhood, everyone, um, goes out in the driveway or in their yards.
[00:10:07] It's not like a come up to the door, um, type situation. And my husband and I were just reflecting on a few of the things that we think went well. You know, we could improve on it in the future. I can't expect that we're gonna remember that next year when we have a million other things clouding our, our mental capacity.
[00:10:24] And we may or may not remember some of 'em. And so thinking about, you know, buying the Halloween candy where I did and when I did so it was on sale or, you know, making notes of those things that my husband and I were conversing about. Now, while it's so fresh in my mind, but I'm really, really, really quick to putting it behind.
[00:10:42] I'm already looking into November now and I will easily forget it if I don't just take a few minutes to do it now. So I wanna talk with you about that being the one thing that I think you really should do, and one of the mistakes that I've made in motherhood and not doing is to make these mental lists and put like all those things that you want to remember.
[00:11:04] Put it down. You can write it on paper. However, I know for myself, I often. Lose paper and even if I put it in my paper planner, that's gonna be recycled at the end of the year. So I know for me, what I like to do is use like a Google Doc or make a folder on Google Docs. So it can be like kind of all the annual things I want to remember.
[00:11:22] Or it might be just one of the notes on my iPhone where, you know, you can share either Google Docs or a note, um, on your iPhone. I know that's the one that my girlfriend and I for camping, we have a shared note where we keep our list of all the things we wanna. For our pack list. So here in a couple weeks when we do our packing for this annual camp trip, everything we need to remember is both written down and concrete.
[00:11:44] I don't have to come up with a new pack list each year, but we also have this shared document between our two families. So when you wanna think about when you start to do this, think about the things that you're doing annual. This isn't just kind of like the one random thing, but the things like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, you know, as I was brainstorming for this episode, it was coming to me so many different examples in my life that I want to start doing this in the upcoming year.
[00:12:11] Because something I've often done is, you know, I do print recipes often for Thanksgiving and I have. You know, a recipe binder where I keep all of the Thanksgiving recipes. So, you know, everyone that we try is not a forever favorite. But when we do find one that we love, like I have a cranberry, um, cranberry sauce recipe that I love everyone I've ever made it for loves.
[00:12:33] And I'm like this, this is the family classic that I wanna go back to every year. But what I'm not going to remember every year, even though now I've made it probably four or five years in a row, if you asked me to look it up on Google for you, I could not for my life. Because I just wouldn't remember, and it would be too confusing and too clouded in all of Google searches to look up the best cranberry sauce recipe.
[00:12:53] I would get so many different searches where I know if I just save these, you know, it's a physical hard copy and a recipe binder, or all the links to these as a tab on my notes, folder on my phone, or on Google Docs that says Thanksgiving favorite. Then next Thanksgiving, I know exactly what I want to do.
[00:13:11] I can think about the things that, um, you know, at Christmas even so much. The point of contact for, who do you reach out to for Christmas lights? When do you usually do that? Every year I'm like, when do I need to reach out to them to ask them in advance to set up our Christmas lights? I did it, did I do it in October last year?
[00:13:28] Did I do it in November? Did I learn anything when I was doing that? That, Oh, I, I asked them way too late last year. Next year. I need to ask them two weeks ahead of time and how much we paid. It seems like every year, as with everything in the world, those prices are going up, and so every year when he charges me, I try and.
[00:13:42] How much did I pay to get our Christmas lights put up again last year when I put them on this concrete list of all this information together? I don't have to ha, I don't have to have that mental clutter. To come up with this, You know, and this extends into all seasons of the year that are really recurring.
[00:13:57] The common conversation my husband and I have every spring is, how much mulch did we buy last year that we need this year? Was it the right amount? Did we find that we bought too much, that we didn't buy enough, that we bought it too early? What kind of mulch do we buy? This is not stuff that I retain in my brain, and I usually have to ask my very sweet 75 year old neighbor next.
[00:14:18] Every single year, what can I buy? And these are all really silly examples, but they're mistakes that I make year after year after year. That is just requiring that much more mental capacity out of me, where when I find things that work or when I learn the hard way, some of the things that didn't work or we do wanna try different, whether that be in how we approached candy at Halloween, or the items we forgot for our annual packing list or aspects to getting Christmas lights installed, to applying our own mulch in the front flower.
[00:14:50] All of these things are things that are repeated habits that I can reduce so much of the mental energy on and yet still get the same outcome, if not a better outcome. Because each year I'm refining it and I'm, I'm documenting what I've lived through and what we've learned and what we wanna take away.
[00:15:10] So the future, it's just that much easier for us.
[00:16:54] So real life examples that I've shared with you and kinda action steps to. Actually and practically do this. What I want you to think about is, as I mentioned, you know yourself best. Some of you are way more techy than me. I can promise you that. And for me, I like Google Docs and I like the notes tab on my phone.
[00:17:13] That's just what seems to work for me. I like that I can share it with people. You know, when I'm packing our spring break pack list to go to my parents in Florida, I like that it's always there. I can have the pack list there, so I just need to kind of revamp it every year. We're no longer in diapers or I don't need the pack and play, or we need one stroller instead of two.
[00:17:30] And you know, some of those things that are just going to evolve, but it, that's still just one little thing that's still triggering a reminder of, Oh, but maybe I need this car seat instead of this, or maybe I need this for this stroller instead of this. And it's still kind of provokes some of that without having to actually.
[00:17:45] Add to the weightiness of the mental energy that we do carry as moms. And so keeping these lists, find a place that feels really functional for you. If it's something that your husband helps you with or you know you do with a friend or a friend's family, or with your siblings or your parents, and you want it to be a shared document, maybe it is as you.
[00:18:06] Thanksgiving, let's all put our favorite recipes on here because I know for me, I'm constantly asking my mom, Hey, what's that recipe for your minister? Any soup? Hey, what recipe do you use for, you know, the things that I love and I savor it and I enjoy as something that I want to be repeated. And some of us are gonna be more traditionally oriented than others.
[00:18:26] I do love traditions. I love having traditional meals and recipes and things like that, but whatever it might be for you and your family. And however the traditions might be replicated in the future, I think we can all save ourself from making this mistake as we come off with Halloween and as we go in the holidays to make these lists of all the things that we mentally wanna make a note of, but we need to begin physically making a note of.
[00:18:53] So to wrap up, I just wanna encourage you to begin doing this one thing and before you totally shift out of Halloween. Take, just pause me even if you need to for 30 seconds and. Dump out anything that's in your brain about Halloween from this year. What worked, what didn't? Oftentimes I'll do like what I call like a SWAT analysis.
[00:19:13] You know, the strengths, the weaknesses, the opportunities, and the threats, S W O T, and I will just really quick throw that out there so I can remember what worked great, what didn't work very well, what do I wanna improve next year? What are some things that you know, to steal our joy in whatever this example was.
[00:19:28] But pick some way that you want to do this. Being the folder on your phone in the notes folder. Or a Google Doc or some way that you want to do this and begin this strategy this year, starting with Halloween. As you get into Thanksgiving and you're, you know, writing out the pack list for you to go to family's house or whatever, the recipes you're gonna be making are, as you go into the Christmas season, the activities and the traditions and the things that you do, the events that you're going to this.
[00:19:56] That you all love and you think were so fun and wanting to be repeated in the future versus some of those things that maybe didn't work or were a total bust. Take notes of these and see how these lists continue to rotate through the different seasons of life and you can continue to re, you know, rinse and repeat them and revise them as needed over time.
[00:20:19] So, As you go into each of these seasons and as you go into each of these opportunities to spend time with your family and to enjoy these moments and to make these memories, you as a mom have that much less mental clutter.
