42 // Worried about how to introduce sweets & treats to your toddler?
Worried about how to introduce sweets & treats to your toddler?
The THREE things to focus on for a healthy relationship to sugar-sweetened foods during the early years
In today's episode, I cover a mom's question that came in here talking about how we set up a firm foundation for handling things like popsicles, ice cream, and all those really fun sweets and treats that come with summer (as well as throughout the year). Sharing that her daughter is, "still a bit young," she asked how I recommend handling this AND how I handle this personally within my own family?
Without creating a dynamic where our children grow up to be hyper-focused about sweets, I share what I would focus on at each of the first three ages and stages of development to help your family build a healthy foundation to including all foods - including sweets and treats.
Listen to this episode of The Veggies & Virtue Podcast now!
Full Episode Transcription
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[00:00:00] In today's episode, I cover a mom's question that came in talking about how do we set up a firm foundation for handling things like pop schools, ice cream, and all those really fun sweets and treats that come with summer and also just the entire year. And how do we handle that? Especially when our kid is still a little young for them to maybe be normal things in the everyday diet, but how do we set up that feeding foundation for our family to know how we include sweets and social event?
[00:00:29] Without creating a dynamic where our child is going to grow up to be hyper focused about them. So that's what we're gonna dive into in today's episode.
[00:00:42] Hey mama, I'm Ashley, and welcome to the veggies and virtue podcast. In this podcast, you will find simple menu ideas. Kitchen organizational systems spelled out for mom life and feeding tips and tricks that are both evidence based and grace laced. I believe that you can find flexibility when it comes to feeding your family so that you can feel calm, capable, and connected in the kitchen.
[00:01:01] As a registered dietician and Christian mom of three myself. I want you to break free from the mealtime battles and to feel equipped while feeding your kids all day long, pull up a stool at my kitchen counter. And let me pour you a cup of coffee and say a quick prayer for. It's time to chat about the meal times messes moments and ministry of motherhood.
[00:01:21] Hi, Ashley, first off, just wanna say thank you so much for this podcast is such a wonderful resource for busy mom. Who don't wanna have to navigate the depths of the internet to figure out how to appropriately feed their child. So thank you for taking the time to teach us. My question is how do you navigate desserts or sweets in your home?
[00:01:45] My daughter's still a little young. For desserts or sweets, but I want to have a firm foundation once we do introduce that to her, especially with summer coming and having ice cream and popsicles be sort of a thing at social events. And we love desserts in our home. We think it's a part just of the joy of.
[00:02:07] But I don't want my daughter to be hyper focused on them nor do I wanna be a restrictive mother. So I would love to hear how you navigate it in your. Thank you so much. Okay. This is a question I really love, especially because I have a lot of episodes slated for, you know, the early fall as we get into kind of Halloween and the holidays and the seasons that a lot of times people are asking the most questions about candy and sugar and sweets and things like that.
[00:02:32] But I love this mom's perspective on so many levels, but I love that she took the time to send me this message. If you have a. Go to veggies at virtue.com/ask hyphen Ashley, and you can leave me a voice memo. Anytime. These are by far my favorite episodes to do, because I get to hear exactly how you're thinking about it and kind of break down your questions into what my response would be if you and I were sitting at my kitchen counter and what we would be dialoguing about.
[00:02:56] And obviously this is only kind of a one way conversation since you know, I'm recording the episode, but that's why I love getting these questions from you guys. So thank you so much, Rachel, for sending me this question and. The desire to want to create that firm foundation and that positive, healthy relationship with all flu foods, including sweets, things like the pop schools and the ice creams and the things that are very you know, before us right now, during the summer months.
[00:03:21] And particularly as this mom mentioned also being at social events, obviously there's sweets and treats and things like that at birthday parties and social. Year round. And as I mentioned, we'll discuss that more as we get into the holidays, but summer is a great time to begin thinking about this. And if you are wondering, you know, how do you set up.
[00:03:40] Foundation for feeding around sweet foods now is an opportune time to do so because you're before it's really top of mind with Halloween and the holidays and where it seems like, you know, there's Christmas cookies, literally everywhere you turn. So I encourage you to take notes on this episode and reach out to me.
[00:04:00] Let me know how it works for you. Let me. Questions you have I, there, there's no way that I could cover this whole topic in just one episode. So I know that the next episode, I'm gonna be speaking on this as well. Kind of an adjunct question that I got from another mom, but send me your questions because I would love to continue the conversation on this and to try and break it down into digestible amounts of information for you so that you can begin one thinking through this, yourself, and processing through this, but also start implement.
[00:04:28] And applying some of the concepts that we're talking about with your kids and within your family. So, first and foremost with Rachel's question, what I want to address is, you know, she mentioned her daughter still being a little young. So to me and my dietician brain and probably all of us as moms really, I'm kind of working with to start us out thinking about the age and stage of either a child is under two or over two.
[00:04:50] And really this is because of a few things in terms of development. And diet or thinking about how a child is developing habits and routine. They're, you know, if you're using a responsive feeding approach, as I teach you in my meal, times made easy method, you know, that, you know, at different ages and stages, it can look different.
[00:05:10] But when a child is transitioning from infancy into toddlerhood, we, as the parents are starting to help shape what kind of feeding habits they have. And so, you know, developmentally, there's just a lot of transition going on with kind of the structure and the routine of our. With a child going from an infant's you know, eating habits and into that of a toddler.
[00:05:29] And so with this particular child, still being a little young, as the mom said, I'm going to assume that this child be is under two. And when we look at children who are under two, we do want to protect what foods they are offered a little bit more. And of course, I mean this from like a safety and a choking perspective and, you know, kids under one, not being able to have.
[00:05:51] And the obvious things like that. But in terms of sweets specifically, I want us to think about it in terms of a child under two, we want to be limiting the amount of added sugars we're giving them. Specifically again, not because these are bad foods, we're not trying to vilify that. I'll get into that more, but instead, because our children are developing their taste buds.
[00:06:12] And so the more, really hyper sweet foods we give them, the more their taste buds are kind of trained to prefer such foods. So, you know, it's old school theory that you need to introduce vegetables before fruits because they'll develop a preference for sweets and stuff that is old school thought. So that's not what I'm talking about here.
[00:06:30] What I'm saying is when we're looking at what the majority of their diet is, we want it to be foods that are naturally sweet. Again, restricting honey here, but things that are like fruits and are fruits sweetened. And additionally, we wanna make sure that we're making every bite count. So there's just not a lot of wiggle room in a young child's diet because their Mies are so small.
[00:06:50] Their appetites are often so low, especially as they grow out of infancy. You know, if you look at a growth curve, you'll very quickly. where appetite is increased. It's when that growth curve is spiking up in infancy, but in toddlerhood we know that naturally the child is developing at a slower rate in terms of their growth.
[00:07:09] And so their appetites are going to decrease too. So if we begin giving them more, I'll call them for the just simplicity's sake here, sweets and treats those things can not only change some of what their taste preferences are in those early formative. But additionally, it can displace some of those really nutritionally, rich and nutritionally dense foods for things that just aren't nutritionally doing a lot for them.
[00:07:33] So we don't wanna be giving them a lot of things that are, you know, just kind of these filler foods. Or, you know, foods that as adults, when we have a little bit more margin in our diet, when we eat a wider range of foods and we just eat more volume in general, we have more capacity to also enjoy some of these sweets and treats alongside some of the more nutrient, rich foods that we have.
[00:07:54] And so that's really where I would want this mom to understand, you know, under two, as much as possible. We want to, you know, as, again, as much as possible, it's not that your child can never, you know, have a taste to your ice cream or have a Popsicle or thing like that. But under two, in a perfect world, my priority would be to help develop those tastes and preferences for really naturally occurring foods.
[00:08:17] And those that haven't had a lot of added sugar to them. And additionally, to make sure that you're maximizing every bite and that you're really focusing on getting the most bang for your buck, with whatever your child is eating. And additionally, when we kind of step into, or, you know, step beyond this and as a child, you know, goes from one to two and then two and beyond.
[00:08:39] A child often does start becoming more social. And so, you know, we think about it even with a child's first birthday and you know, the big trend for a smash cake and things like that. Oftentimes parents are privy to the fact that this is the first time I might be offering my child. Like an obvious source of added sugar or something like that.
[00:08:59] And the social events just be, start becoming more a part of their life. And so I just did a whole module on this, on the meal times, made easy method and talking about how the socialization of food is so important for our kids, because, you know, we look at this, isn't just a dynamic of trying to create the perfect diet from a nutritional only perspective.
[00:09:21] We want to raise children who understand how to. As a part of their life and to include all the different social and cultural and, you know, just like traditional aspects that come with eating. And that is going to include things like popsicles, ice creams, cupcakes, and those sweets and treats that you see at social events.
[00:09:40] And so as our kids get older and we start to, you know, not just create their. Life just in and of themselves based on a bubble, but start to expose them to the outside world with that is going to come exposure to some of these foods that may not have a commonplace yet in our homes, or at least with our young children.
[00:10:00] So I love how this mom has kind of already filtered through what I've talked about just in terms of, you know, developing that firm foundation, getting a child's taste preferences. And nutrition kind of set up early on while the child is still little and then to begin exposing them to other parts of life that is important to the family and to the family's socialization.
[00:10:21] So for some families, this does happen before too. y'all know, I have three kids. What we did with my first born was much different than what we did with my third born, because we were able to limit my first Born's environment and the exposures that she had to some of these sweets and treats more so than we could by my third, because.
[00:10:44] He was at these birthday parties and these social things much earlier on that my kids or my other kids were because he's the third child and his social, you know, his socialization was just different. So every child is going to be exposed to different dynamics here. And so know that if your child is before too, and they've already been introduced to the lollipop at the doctor and the cupcake at the birthday party and everything like.
[00:11:07] Do not feel shame and do not feel guilt here. There is always growth to be done. And there's always growth, honestly, for ourselves as parents to do with our own relationship with food. That's again, a that's an entire module. A whole quarter of the meal times made easy method is talking about relationships with food and how we as parents are helping to shape our children's relationship with food.
[00:11:30] But what I want you to think about. You know, how do you start to offer those foods at the social events? As I mentioned with my oldest, Claire, you know, we could kinda limit the social interactions that she had because we didn't have as many, you know, friends with kids that were older. So even if we were going to kids, birthday parties, they were babies, birthday parties, like smash cake style, you know, it wasn't like she was going to a lot of older kids' birthday parties.
[00:11:55] And so a lot of the social events that we, that became a part of our life were great and wonderful. And we wanted her to know. All that comes with that. Some of which being the sweets and treats. So let's just sticking it specifically to summer and talking about like pop schools and ice cream and things like that.
[00:12:12] We did let her have some of those options. You know, after age one, going up to age two, but going back to the first point, we did want to like limit these. So they weren't displacing other more nutrient foods. And so that they weren't so commonplace in her diet, that she was developing a taste preference for things that were hyper sweet.
[00:12:31] But moving forward, I want you to think about as your child begins to age and as your child begins to be exposed to more social. You know, you think of, as a child gets into preschool and then into grade school, they're constantly exposed to these different aspects of socialization that is going to introduce them to pop schools, ice creams, and sweets and treats of the, of that nature.
[00:12:52] And so as you do that, I want you to begin thinking of a few things. One initially I would try and consolidate those offerings to social events outside the home. This. Clear boundaries for your child of what types of places and what type of experiences go along with these foods. So they see kind of, well, you know, we don't have birthday cake typically every day.
[00:13:19] It's usually at a birthday party, a Popsicle, maybe it's just the, we eat this outside or we eat this at this one park or we get ice cream at this one. Or we have it at the pool or, you know, so they start to make some of these associations that are truly good and wonderful parts of life, but it also helps you as the parent to create some boundaries around.
[00:13:42] What is that kind of approach that you're using in terms of how you set this up again? We're talking about the phases in here. So the early ages and stages, the emphasis is on developing the taste preferences. And making every bite count, moving forward, as you kind of get in that those toddlerhood to preschool years, you are focusing on exposing them to those social environments beginning to incorporate more of those options as they fit and feel consistent with your family.
[00:14:09] And this is where I would begin to kind of think through. how are you approaching those foods? Because the first and foremost thing that I would make sure you, as the parent are making sure you do as these social events come and the sweets are you know, more available to your child as they get older and more included in these social events is how are you talking about them?
[00:14:29] Because this is honestly one of the biggest things that parents need to work on before they even focus on what their child is or is not putting in their mouth. And that directs what their child's future is going to be. And as this mom asked, is their child gonna be hyper focused on 'em? Is the mom gonna feel hyper restrictive of them?
[00:14:47] You know, how do you handle it once they do become more commonplace in the home. And so really focus on neutrality in the language that you're using. And so that these foods, you, as this mom said, I could just hear it in her voice and I could just feel it that these are good and wonderful. And we have positive relationships with all these different foods.
[00:15:07] That said they're still not included in our everyday diet. And so we can begin practicing within ourselves. How do we respond when our kid asks for a cupcake, how do we respond when our child is at a backyard, barbecue this summer, and they have a pop school and they ask for another one, how do we handle it when.
[00:15:26] Our kids are offered ice cream at a 4th of July event. And it's right before we're gonna take him home to bed. Are we talking about the sugar? That's gonna make him go crazy or keep 'em up all night or, you know, what is the verbiage we're using? Because truthfully, this is one of the key components to what is gonna set a firm foundation is what language you have to process through.
[00:15:46] So just as much as I want you to kind of create an evolution of how much your child is exposed to sweet. I also want you to be working and doing the background work and the quiet work and the internal work of what kind of language is your family choosing to use around these foods. So as these foods do become more commonplace for your family, the language is all the more natural and it's all the more inclusive and it's all the more.
[00:16:14] You know, neutral to these are just one of the foods we enjoy. Just the way we do watermelon is really sweet and something we enjoy in summer. And, you know, CI minerals are something we have every morning on Christmas morning, you know, like, or every Christmas morning, I should say, like, just like those norms.
[00:16:31] These are just norms of life. These are just parts of life and your family can obviously limit or allow as much as possible. But this kind of goes into the third agent phase that I'm gonna, you know, end with here today that I want you to think about. And that is when you go from kind of those early childhood years where your child has been exposed to more of these.
[00:16:51] Most likely outside the home, or it may be within this home, but more consolidated to some of those social events when you're having a dinner party or you're having a holiday event or a birthday party or things like that. And then it becomes your child knows these foods exist and starts requesting them.
[00:17:07] And for me as a mom, particularly your dietician mom, this was the most transformative part of my family's foundation. And you know, this mom asked like, how do I handle it? And I wanna share this. Having three children, I've seen three different feeding temperaments, very up close and personal. Of course, I work with hundreds of families and very familiar with lots more beyond that, but within my own family, my first born has a.
[00:17:32] Very big sweet tooth. And she has from very early on, despite us trying to set up those, you know taste preferences for, you know, moderately sweet, not hyper sweet foods and things like that. That's just something I know to be true of her. And the more I tried to restrict that, or the more that it was outside the home, the more problematic within the.
[00:17:54] I honestly felt that it was becoming because I didn't as a dietician, I didn't see any quote unquote need for some of these foods within our home when she was 3, 4, 5, and we were bringing new babies in and, you know, doing the same process with my younger children. However, what I would caution you as the parent to take note of is how hyper-focused is your child getting when you have, or go to these social events and these foods are available to your kids.
[00:18:22] Do they seem. Excessively excited about them. And again, it is natural and normal for kids to get excited about a Popsicle or to get excited about ice cream and all of those things that is not something that we want to vilify. And I know that because people vilify that on my kids all the time as if they shouldn't enjoy and crave these foods because they're dieticians kids.
[00:18:44] And so I work really hard to try and guard my kids from some of those messages and some of the language. That they hear from other people being projected on them about why they like it. But as a parent, what I want to, you know, raise your you know, just kind of mama gut too, is to start noticing if they seem excessively excited about something, something that no one else is telling you is right or wrong.
[00:19:10] But in your gut, you just feel like this seems like a little more than I'm comfortable with. This seems like they're. you know, doing, I've done an episode on like sneaking candy. That would be something to me that tells me that a child is so interested in a given food, that they feel a sense of shame around it.
[00:19:29] And so they're going to the behavior of sneaking it. So go and listen to that episode. If that's something that, you know, kind of triggers you or is something that's applicable to you, but it might be something that like your child just seems more preoccupied with whatever that given sweeter treat. Then makes you feel comfortable.
[00:19:45] That to me would be an indicator that you wanna start, including it more at home. A lot of parents are gonna be like, this seems totally counterintuitive. You're telling me the more interested and the more mentally preoccupied my kid is with this. The more that I should offer this. And that's exactly what I'm saying.
[00:20:03] And that is because, as I mentioned with my oldest, these were not foods that we commonly had in our home. And for the example of like cakes and cupcakes, I personally have never, even as a child, I've never been a big fan of cake and cupcakes. There's a lot of other sweets and treats I love, but those are just not mighty.
[00:20:21] So they're very rarely gonna be in our house because I don't even really care for them. And so those are things that my child only saw outside the home. but sometimes that can be seen as a form of restriction because they don't have access to 'em and they're not given opportunities to learn to like these foods in a really neutral, normalized way because these foods almost do get put on a pedestal simply because they're not very widely available to our child.
[00:20:50] And so if there's certain foods that you begin to see, like my kid, I just get that kind of. Irked feeling that my child just seems more preoccupied with X, Y, Z food than I would like. This is when I would transfer or excuse me, transition from having those foods outside the home to bringing them more in the home, sticking to the examples of summer with Popsicle and ice cream and things like that.
[00:21:13] Have a box of pop schools in at your house. Have some ice cream at your house, have some of these foods that your child is exposed to elsewhere and begin to shape what that relationship with those foods is going to look like when you do. In theory and less access to them because that's where we, we want our kids to feel comfortable, to not feel this sense of secrecy or shame or needing to hide either when they do have it, or could have an, you know, could have access to a larger amount of it or a mental preoccupation that they're just so infatuated with this food that they see in their house.
[00:21:46] Because when you normalize that it's in your home and you normalize how it's included in your overall diet, your child just starts. to not care as much. And that is the goal. So again, I can't go through every life cycle and stage right now to talk about what is, you know, developmentally appropriate. But I know for a lot of you, you do have young kids and you are in this phase of either trying to learn how to expose them to sweets, how to set up a firm foundation around sweets and treats and desserts and things like that.
[00:22:18] And as I mentioned, one of my upcoming episodes, I have another mom's question that kind of piggybacks on. And I'll go into kind of another angle that we can look at this, but I would encourage you to go through these things, focusing on what age and stages your child at looking at, you know, are you in the window of kind of breaking it down into these three things based off ages and stages of if they're under two, are you.
[00:22:42] Are you able to still focus on developing their taste preferences and as much as pop possible, optimizing each bite as they get to two and two, even, you know, up to age five, this can vary again for some kids. This starts at age one you know, start exposing them to those social events, start exposing them to the ways.
[00:23:01] That these foods are included in your family's lifestyle and you as the parent, while you're exposing them in these social situations, also do the internal work to make sure that you are using appropriate neutral language around these foods. And third. Is, you know, what we work on for life is bring those foods in the home.
[00:23:21] Don't let them feel restrictive, but tune into your child, tune into the child that has a really big sweet tooth or a huge preference for popsicles. Or who's constantly asking for ice cream and begin to develop your family's approach to desserts and how you include them and incorporate them into the diet so that your child begins to know how they can fit, how they're a good thing and how.
[00:23:47] non-existent mental preoccupation is truly one of the healthiest things that we can give our.
[00:23:58] It has been a joy having you on podcast today. And if you've enjoyed it as well, I have a quick favor to ask. Do you mind hopping over to apple podcast and leaving me a written review? This will only take you a hot second. But it truly blesses me every time I get to read one of you right over there. And it allows me to bless others through this podcast and the episodes to come.
[00:24:18] The other thing that you can do is to take a screenshot of this episode and tag me over on Instagram at veggies and virtue, I would love to see what action steps that you're taking from this episode, and also to support your family in the journey moving forward until next time. Thanks for coming over to chat at my kitchen.
[00:24:33] Remember that you will always have a seat and a snack waiting for you here.
