24 // Looking to kickstart your postpartum journey?
Looking to kickstart your postpartum journey?
Get the empathy, encouragement, and ideas to act on for healthy new habits to actually happen! [An interview with Liz from The Tough Love Mom Podcast]
This episode features an interview with friend and fellow podcasting mom, Liz Henderson. Liz is THE Tough Love Mom of The Tough Love Mom Podcast, and she brings so much empathy, encouragement, and actionable insight to moms.
Journeying from being a Division I athlete to a mom of two littles, Liz shares how moms of all different personality types and fitness pasts can accomplish healthy, sustainable habits in motherhood. From finding your Kickstart Habit to actually making it happen, Liz brings the consistency and community I know a lot of moms are looking for.
So get ready to listen in, and then to exercise your follow through muscle in response to this episode!
Listen to this episode of The Veggies & Virtue Podcast now!
Full Episode Transcription
Please note this a raw transcription. If something doesn’t read correctly, toggle to that timestamp in the show so that you can listen in on what was actually being said!
[00:00:00] On today's episode, we have a special guest, someone. I now get to call my friend and also professional friend, Liz Henderson. She and I have been in a mastermind together and I've gotten to know her on a personal level, but also professionally as someone who also podcasts her tough love. Mom podcast is one that I personally have loved.
[00:00:20] And I know that you guys are gonna really enjoy getting some insights and encouragement out of Liz is one of those go getters. So inspiring and the way that she lives her life, she has a military wife, she has two little kids and she has a journey through being a really driven, do you want athlete into the years after college and through pregnancy and postpartum and the early ages and stages of motherhood that I know you guys are going to be really blessed to hear some of the details of she is an expert at helping moms build consistency in the healthy habits that they want to.
[00:00:58] Cultivate and create for their families and specifically serves postpartum moms. And I have just really enjoyed getting to know her and getting to learn from her and getting a good, healthy dose of tough love from her. And I know that today's episode is going to give you the same.
[00:01:15] Hey mama, I'm Ashley, and welcome to the veggies. And for two weeks, In this podcast, you will find simple menu ideas, kitchen, organizational systems, spelled out for mom life and feeding tips and tricks that are both evidence-based and grace placed. I believe that you can find flexibility when it comes to feeding your family so that you can feel calm, capable, and connected in the kitchen.
[00:01:34] As a registered dietician and Christian mom of three myself, and want you to break free from the mealtime battles and to feel equipped while feeding your kids all day long, pull up a stool at my kitchen counter. And let me pour you a cup of coffee and say a quick prayer. It's time to chat about the mealtime messes moments in ministry of motherhood.
[00:01:55] Hi, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. Of course. Thanks for having me on I'm so excited. So I introduced you a little bit in the intro, but I would love for you to tell my audience a little bit more just about yourself and some of your history. I know that you have a background as a college athlete.
[00:02:10] I think you very deep one, even. And so we'd just love to know about who you are as a mom, your family, where you live and things like that. But also if you can touch on. A little bit more of kind of your background with living an active lifestyle and doing iron mans and, you know, pursuing a lot of physical challenges.
[00:02:27] I would love for you to kind of highlight a little bit of your background there for the moms listening. Yeah. Ever since I was a kid, I loved volleyball and I set this goal for myself. I always set these like huge, silly goals, but when I was a kid, I was a big fan of Kerri Walsh. And. I knew she had played at Stanford and I love playing volleyball.
[00:02:50] So my big old goal was to be a middle hitter at Stanford playing college. And I was like tunnel vision on that. Now I'm five, eight. So obviously not a middle hitter size, but they're like six feet and taller. But I mean, I would be out in the street until it got dark, hitting the ball back and forth, running after it.
[00:03:07] I played trouble volleyball all through high school. Like didn't go to my senior prom, just very tunnel vision on making that happen. And I think that kind of has culminated into how I approach things now. I ended up playing at West Virginia. So two years in the big east, two years in the big 12, which was an amazing experience, getting to play volleyball at that level and against that level of teams and like teams like Texas and can't, I mean, amazing, amazing volleyball programs that we got to compete against.
[00:03:38] Traveled to, I mean, it was just so cool. And when volleyball ended, I got really unhealthy the first few months afterwards, I was not eating well, you know, just very kinda like went off the deep end and I wasn't like exercising. I definitely did not my whole life. I grew up being able to eat whatever I wanted because I was so active.
[00:03:58] So active. I mean, Bible was like a 20 plus hour, a week thing for me since ninth grade. So just I could eat whatever and I kept eating whatever when volleyball ended and I wasn't active at all. So I gained a lot of weight. It was very uncomfortable in my body. I said, no more, not going to do this and not going to be this way because it just doesn't feel good.
[00:04:20] I didn't feel confident. I didn't feel. Healthy. I don't know how it's explain it. And so a few months after volleyball ended kind of, after I was like, I'm done spiraling. I'm not going to do this. I tried this like program looks it's like 30 day thing and it got me really. It helped me lose weight, but it also had some components of it that were unhealthy and started to forge a very unhealthy mindset around food and weight loss and what was needed to lose weight.
[00:04:48] Things like certain types of pills and it just was not healthy. I did learn, I did learn what, that I could have different types of macronutrients at meals and how to pair those together. So I was learning some basic foundational nutrition things, but. Was ultimately what helped me lose weight, but I was also beds.
[00:05:07] Just misinformation. What was also needed. And I was totally overexercising to like a couple hours at a time in the gym, working out how I knew how to work out from my volleyball days and strength and conditioning in college. So I knew how to show up in the gym. And I was learning how to show up in nutrition, but I was kind of flailing in that area.
[00:05:28] And those first few years after volleyball ended, I ended up getting into trapline, even though I was like, I hate running. Aye. Aye, aye. Avoided it at all costs. When I played volleyball and I ended up signing up for a 5k and then sprint triathlon. And then when I finished that sprint tri I was like, I'm going to do an iron man one day.
[00:05:44] Cause that was fun. And I became a runner. I became an endurance athlete and all the ways did some half iron mans and a full iron man. And this was like the first man within three years of volleyball ending, all of that happened. And. Along the way I got physically, probably in a very healthy state compared to where I was playing volleyball, just well-rounded I was strong.
[00:06:06] I had endurance, I was eating fairly healthy, but I was definitely at a weight that was too small for my body size and my body builds. Very I'm very muscularly built and I was just too skinny and too small. And it started to affect my performance and triathlons and everything, which I started to notice.
[00:06:26] And I was very critical of my body as well. And that was around the time when we started thinking about having kids. And I was scared the first few years of marriage, how pregnancy would change my body, very scared about it. But Just over time with like slowing down on the endurance front and all the running and all the triathlons, like kind of taking a pause on that and coming back to.
[00:06:49] Less intense exercise, just like more like 20, 30 minutes, 40 minutes a day felt a lot healthier. I started eating more food than I realized. I actually realized I needed more food with how I was showing up and exercising. I, I needed more energy, so. We started doing that and we ended up getting pregnant.
[00:07:07] And throughout that pregnancy, I ended up, we, we moved twice. I'm a military wife. So we moved place during that pregnancy. I had some just like life stressors go on that were out of my control. That caused a lot of just emotional distress. And during that pregnancy, I gained 90 pounds and ended up with preeclampsia.
[00:07:26] And so my body changed a lot from that pregnancy. And over time I did come to accept it and it wasn't much of an issue of the body image side of things anymore, but. When I got postpartum from my first, I was like, well, I don't want to have blood pressure issues, but I'm older because issues that come up in pregnancy can often manifest later in life.
[00:07:47] Can you be like an indicator of what could have come up later in life? And I was like, I'm not going to be, it's not gonna be my story. I want to be around a long time, but see my great grandkids. That's God-willing, that's what I want for my family. And I want to set the good example of health. Overall, just with food, with how I'm moving.
[00:08:03] My body was how I think about my body. So I just kind of put my, my head to the grindstone and got to work, losing weight after having him. And a year later got pregnant with our second his pregnancy was just completely uncomplicated. I went to 42. We should one day shy of 42 weeks. So gained 60 pounds.
[00:08:22] So, and that was like throughout both pregnancies, I had healthy habits. I was exercising consistently. I was feeling my body really well. And especially in that second one, and I was just like, okay, I guess this is what my body does when I'm pregnant. And. I'm just going to have to show up consistently over time for a long time to get to a healthy place again and have my body feel mobile.
[00:08:48] Have my body feel strong, feel, just feel good again. And weight loss is part of that and how I'm sleeping and how I'm eating as part of that too. So after he was born, I had a 60 pound weight loss journey and. Took over a year. And over the course of this, that last 14 months, I just felt really spurred on to start a podcast and help women do what I did.
[00:09:12] Because as I shared my story on social media, there was a lot of, oh my gosh, I gained a lot of weight too. I didn't know other people had that experience or I'm so stuck and it was heartbreaking to hear, but the way I approached it was so simple. And the way I took on weight loss was very. Just like, it's simple.
[00:09:29] We don't need to over-complicate it. You don't need to do diets. You just need to approach it in a simple way and approach all the habits because it's so layered all the things to do to make that happen, but you don't have to take it all on all at once. I did not take it all on at once. And. You know, over the time I liked a good challenge having done triathlons and everything.
[00:09:51] So along the way, I've done fun stuff like 75 hard. And I've done some running challenges and I'm thinking about some stuff down the road. Oh my goodness. I'm thinking about some stuff down the road. So yeah, the mindset piece is huge for me, but it's also been just a lot of simple habits along the way.
[00:10:08] And that's what I've come to help moms with, especially on the podcast, because. I've realized talking to so many. It gets so complicated and moms don't know where to start when my whole journey. It's just been simple. It's been very black and white one thing at a time. And yeah, that's what that gives you a little insight on my story and everything.
[00:10:32] How it's fine. I love hearing that because I think, you know, I've gotten to know you a little bit personally and professionally over the last few months, which I've loved and I can see this personnel. And you, and I think, you know, you and I have a lot of similarities in say, I know we've joked over some of them, you know, over the past few months, but I love hearing more of your story and then kind of the evolution of how you've come to where you are right now and how you help and serve moms.
[00:10:54] Cause I think, you know, you do have a really driven personality type where you said like you can get laser focused on something and like you go after your goals. And I love that and I think. Some moms question, you know, do I have that in me? Do I, because maybe they don't feel like they have that personality type or maybe they kind of have a history of, I wanted this thing, but I didn't fully go for it.
[00:11:14] And so they may be kind of have this mindset that. Well, what's the point in trying, because I might fail anyways, you know, and again, that might be something like they wanted it to be a D one athlete and they weren't, or it might've just been, I wanted to go to this college or I wanted to get this job, or, you know, there's all these different parts of each of our stories that some of which we've achieved and accomplished and feel really confident in, and other things that as moms are kind of things that we've had to just fix that.
[00:11:41] We're not things that king to be. And so I would love to hear a little bit more about like, you know, knowing that the moms that are a part of your community come from all different backgrounds, you know, they're not all many use necessarily. I'm sure there's plenty that really love the tough love that you bring and relate with that.
[00:11:56] But I'm sure there's plenty that feel this sense of. You know, I've, I've failed at other things. How do I know I'm not going to fail at this or, you know, postpartum, there's so many other pressures outside of just the normal day to day and stuff. So what are you going to talk? Like, what do you kind of say to the mom that maybe isn't quote unquote, this type of person.
[00:12:15] How do you kind of, you know, I'm very encouraged and inspired by you and like kind of that personality that you have. And it really gets me fired up to like, just to do the thing. Like, I need someone who gives tough love in my life and I've loved getting that from you, but how do you kind of balance that, giving it to moms who maybe aren't that personality type?
[00:12:33] What advice do you have there? I think it's really important to know where you're at. Like have a lot of self honesty and awareness of. Well, who, who you are and where you've come from, what your experiences are. Because if we come from this place of, I want to be like that person, or I want to do that thing, that that person did, it might not be the right time or the right season.
[00:12:59] And. We can't hold an expert. Like we can't see what someone else has done and say, I'm going to hold myself to that expectation because we are not the same person. And that's not to say I'm on this like high horse, because I'm totally not there's things. I failed out. There's things that I choose not to do because it's not for me.
[00:13:18] I'm like, I don't want to do that. And I think it's really easy with how busy motherhood is and how busy it makes our mind to go. Okay. Well, that's that worked for her. So I'm just going to do that. And we can't, we can't, we can't approach things that way. I think the best thing a mom can do is remind herself.
[00:13:39] Okay. Sh you know, and this is, I forgot where I heard this, but they were saying, going through some questions to ask yourself, okay, do I have the same schedule? Is that person is, are, do we have kids at the same time? Do we have the same number of kids is, do we live in the same? Where, how close do our families live to us?
[00:14:00] You know, there's so many different aspects that are completely different person to person circumstantial wise. And that was more so around comparison. But I think a lot of the times when you look to someone or look to something to do, we can come at it from a place of comparison in a way. And when we do that, When we do that, we're kind of setting ourselves up for failure and that self honesty is really, really important.
[00:14:30] And that's something I talk a lot about too, is you need to, you need to know where you're at and what your ideal is, what your ideal places. So you can work towards that because what your ideal places. Might look a little bit different. It might look similar to whatever else you're aiming for or where you're getting this inspiration from, but you have to know exactly what that looks like.
[00:14:52] And then get an idea of that's like timelines, in my opinion, especially around weight loss and timelines around creating habits. They're not set in stone. They're not black and white. You can go, okay, well, I'm here. This is just realistically, totally honestly, where I'm at with that ideal or with those certain habits or goal that I want to achieve.
[00:15:15] This is where I'm at right now. Like I did this running challenge in March. I was not running in January, so I had a long way to work towards that and I had to go, okay, this is where I'm at right now, zero miles a week. And I want to get to this point. In the next two and a half months. So what do I need to do between now and then to make that happen?
[00:15:33] And we have to be very honest with what is that place we want and what does it look like and where are we right now? So I can work towards that thing on my timeline and in a way that works for me. And I think when we can slow down and that's the hardest thing to do as moms is to slow down and be honest with ourselves in that way.
[00:15:50] Then we can actually realize that where we're at right now, where we want to go and it becomes a lot more refreshing. To work towards something and doable to work towards something, rather than just saying, oh, like, that's inspiring. I'm going to do that thing. And then you get burnt out along the way because you weren't setting yourself up for success by taking a second, literally taking five minutes to think through those.
[00:16:15] Yeah, absolutely. And I love, you know, how you were talking about on the note of comparison, because I think it would be very easy for anyone listening to you who does all these amazing things. And, you know, I know how you just finished, like the Goggins challenge and things like that. And it's like, wow, how does she even do this?
[00:16:28] I mean, she has a podcast, she has two little kids. She's a military wife, all these things, and it could be very easy to compare, but I love how you talked about being really objective about those comparisons versus like subjective. This is not. Like a personality type flaw on, well, she's said this and I'm so this, cause I think as moms we can get really the comparison often goes to our faults because that's what we're so aware of, you know?
[00:16:51] But I think you're saying, you know, how many hours a week does she have for this? Where does she live? Does she have family support? How many kids does she have? What ages? You know, it's very concrete. It's not you know, there's not a lot of morality linked to it in terms of like, as a mom, This is just not in you or, you know, it's instead, like this is not the season you're in.
[00:17:08] And I think that's such a huge mindset shift for moms to have when they're looking at well, yeah, this might be easy for you to lose all this postpartum weight or to do all these like awesome fitness challenges, because that's just kind of the kind of person you are. But I think for moms to kind of realize, like I can become the person I want to be.
[00:17:26] And I can take things from a mom like you without feeling inferior. If you know, we aren't necessarily the same personality type, because I can identify, we don't have the same lifestyle or, you know, everyone's life, even if it's your very best friend, every one is going to have, you know, things that don't parallel that make your story and your situation different.
[00:17:44] And that present challenges that are different, even as you said, with one pregnancy, you had some emotional things going on that just added a layer to the pregnancy. That wasn't the case, the next pregnancy. And so you just look at there's so many things that can influence our life, our habits, our ability to just kind of.
[00:18:03] I find that grit or, you know, give ourself that grace and things. And I love to, you know, knowing that part of your story was kind of being influenced a little way word, you know, and getting some advice that wasn't. One healthy for you longterm. But that you were so eager for something that you did kind of try it, experience it, but you can also now relate with moms.
[00:18:25] And like, I understand when you want that quick fix, I understand when you kind of want that pill that gives a one size fits all approach as if this one pill is going to work for everyone. But I love that while that was part of your story now that you, you know, recognize this is unique and when it's unique and it fits your life and.
[00:18:44] You know, you can shape it to how it works for you and your personality and your season and your stage and your needs and objectives and goals and timelines and all those things, you know, you use the word refreshed and I think that's not something most moms, particularly postpartum moms ever feel like refreshing is not normally, but I think.
[00:19:02] At the same time when, when you feel like you have life and you were like, I have this, I ha and it may be 15 good minutes of activity a day. It may mean three meals that you make a week. It doesn't matter. But when you feel refresh, going into these, I think that's a good indicator to moms. This is good for me.
[00:19:19] This works for me, this fits for my family, because I think when we feel tired and worn out and stretched thin and, you know, have a short fuse and all these things, and then we try and pile like healthy habits on top of that, it just feels like a burden. And so I think it can be very contradicting, but I love how you just talk about, you know, that you found that for you and I love how you walk moms through.
[00:19:41] Their journey of finding that for themselves through a lot of different, you know, tips and tricks and things. So share with the moms listening a little bit more about like, what would your advice be? As there as moms are trying to kind of get their footing again, and this might be there in the middle of the pregnancy and they're like, oh wow, I'm already 60 pounds in and only five months into my pregnancy or something.
[00:20:01] And you know, what can I do while I'm pregnant? Or maybe it's the mom who's early postpartum who gained 90 pounds and wants to know. There is a path towards helpfulness, but it may not start, you know, it's not going to start the day you get out of the hospital kind of thing. Or it may be the mom that, you know, her, her baby's finally sleeping through or night through the night and she has another toddler.
[00:20:20] Who's also finally sleeping through the night and things like that. Like where do you, you know, knowing that all the moms listening have, again, different stories, different situations, different ages and stages of their family and things. Where do you can encourage moms to kind of like first start getting their footing and like, where do they, where does their mind need to first go?
[00:20:38] So they get their mindset in that, right. Wouldn't it be so nice if it was like, here's the one answer, but it's the same across the board hanging on your, every word right now. It's yeah. Well, unfortunately there's not like one specific, exact starting point. That's going to work mom to mom. Yes. A lot of moms like might, might do well with meal prepping right off the bat.
[00:21:00] Some moms might do really well with walking for six months and then starting to do workouts. I mean, it's very. There's definitely a handful of different things at work, but you won't know until you pinpoint where you need to start. So I, I encourage moms to figure out one thing to start with one, I call it a kickstart habit where you are focused in on just one simple thing.
[00:21:24] That's going to move. That's going to move the. What's the word move. The I'm really bad with these phrases. Move the needle. That's the word that's going to move the needle the most for you on your journey. For me, that was getting consistent working out again because even, even though I've basically been active consistently since I started playing volleyball in fifth grade and I mean, I've had, I've got quite the foundation to work from when it comes to consistency with working out.
[00:21:52] So that was a habit that I knew. Would be quick for me to get back into routine with, because it's been a foundation for years at this point, but it also did not feel easy after having my first, I had to put a lot of mental and physical effort into it for a few weeks until I was like, okay, this is good.
[00:22:10] I can add in an extra day now, instead of just doing four, I'll do five and I'm going to start taking control of our breakfast again, because I had to layer in those habits one at a time after each kid. And honestly, as seasons change. So no matter where a mom is starting, whether it's she's six weeks postpartum and she wants to start getting intentional again, or she's two years postpartum, it doesn't matter where you're starting.
[00:22:33] What matters is you take it on sustainably and simply with one habit at a time. And so identifying what is going to be the most influential for you on the rest of your journey on the rest of your day and what might be the thing that's holding you back from. From making any other changes for some moms that's nutrition, for some moms, it's their routine, like getting up at a consistent time or going to bed at a consistent time, because that can just snowball and do affecting all the other habits for some moms it's working out.
[00:23:05] And you don't know until you start digging into. What's holding me back the most. What do I want out of my journey the most? Is there a habit that's like completely, self-sabotaging everything I'm doing right now that I need to start shifting. And when you can identify that and then focus your energy and effort into that one habit.
[00:23:25] You can start making changes. And the uncomfortable part of doing that is the first few weeks are not easy. The first few weeks of making that change, they take mental effort. People will fall off often and then just go back to what they were doing before, because our brains are wired to keep us safe and to keep us comfortable.
[00:23:42] I can totally nerd out about brain stuff all day long, but it's not you. And again, I love how you brought up that morality. You're not good or bad because. What you're doing and choosing to do. It's how your brain is wired. And I think that's encouraging to know, because when we're equipped with knowing that we can go, okay, so I can change how my brain is wired to make this easier for me.
[00:24:02] And how you do that is by choosing day after day after day, making it a consistent thing that you're doing this one habit, getting super consistent with it. And then it starts to become that, that neural pathway in your brain that you automatically want to start going down. And when you can do that, then you can, when it becomes more routine, when it feels easier to do consistently not easy every day, but more often than not, it's a consistent habit for you.
[00:24:28] Now, then you can start adding in other things. I did not get serious about my nutrition. I did not get disciplined about meal prep or anything. Stuff. And at what I was eating and taking in until about six months postpartum, I started working out at six weeks postpartum. So it took me about four months of, and I went from.
[00:24:48] Focusing on working out consistently to adding in an extra day. And then I started deciding, okay, now I'm going to get consistent with a specific time of day working out because I was doing it whenever I could fit it in. After that, I got consistent about waking up about five minutes before my kid did so I could have some time to myself.
[00:25:05] Even if that meant like going and drinking water and going pee and then going to get my child, I was just like one thing at a time. And then once I could wrap my mind around eating more intentionally that's when I took that on. So really taking it one thing at a time and figuring out what's going to be the most influential spot to start for you on your journey is the key to that.
[00:25:27] Because once you can get that one thing in place, it will set you up for success with adding in those other habits over. I love that. I think you just had so many pearls of wisdom right there that I'm sure a lot of moms really valued from hearing, because I think as you know, in the world of food and nutrition and health and exercise, anything, it feels like all the things.
[00:25:47] And this is something that I share with families too. It's like, you know, well, yes, in my community, I share a lot of things. That's not expecting that it's going to everything is what every family needs to do at every time. You know, that the systems. I don't use every one of them every day. You know, some of them are habits that I can layer over time and and develop as part of our lifestyle and other ones that are situational or seasonal that like, I need to do this habit and things.
[00:26:12] So I love that you talked about like, what's that kickstart habit. Cause I think that's the thing it's like, what is the thing that gets the ball rolling to help you gain momentum over time? But you realize like, this is the thing. One may be, feels like the low it's, like the low hanging fruit. Like the thing that I just feel like I can have a win with, because I think I know you talk about this a lot too, of how the mindset is so interconnected that sometimes we just need to talk, like do something like for you, I'm going to wake up five minutes early so I can get a drink of water.
[00:26:40] Check the box when for me, but your mindset, all of a sudden, like I did it, I did it. And that mindset translates to the mindset a year down the road, where I know you now get up more than five minutes in advance of your kids, and now you're working out in that window. So I think. You know, just for parents to see, and for moms specifically to see, like how can you get a win that then compels your mindset, that you can go for another win.
[00:27:05] Because if moms say I'm gonna wake up an hour before my kids, and then they consistently fail, they feel like, well, I'm consistently a failure, or I consistently can't do this, or this is never going to happen or, you know, whatever it might be, but I love how. You share so much on how the mindset with one thing really relates to the mindset of another thing in building that habit.
[00:27:24] And I think you, of all people are the consistency queen. I mean, you learn how to like, be consistent in your own lifestyle. And I think, you know, that's, that's how we learn a lot of the tricks of the trade that we share with moms. By doing it ourselves and realizing like, this is how it happens. It's not this like, oh, Hey, lose weight or gain a healthy lifestyle or whatever the goal or objective might be.
[00:27:46] But instead it's, you know, these are the habits that you can layer of root time and, and work towards and things. And so I think it's awesome that you talk about. You know, be successful with that one thing and, you know, identify what might be holding you back. So I'd like to take a minute just to kind of talk about this.
[00:28:03] Cause I think, you know, actually knowing that we were going to chat today, I thought about you this morning because I like to get up, have my Bible to study. Do my workout before my kids like that. But then like, my son has been waking up in the middle of the night lately. So it's like, I've been having more a week windows in the middle of the night than usual.
[00:28:19] And so, you know, I press snooze a little longer snooze, a little longer. And I was thinking, I was like, here, it forced me to go talk to Liz about consistency today. And I did get my workout in, but it was like I was doing my Bible study. The Peloton, because I was like, I got to double dip. I didn't leave enough time to do both separately kind of thing.
[00:28:33] But I'm, I'm saying that because I think, you know, there's always hiccups that happen. I think the most predictable thing about motherhood is that it's unpredictable. We are always going to have, you know, a kid who has to stay home when we had a big day planned or. Preschool is going to call and say that, you know, they need to get picked up or just all the different things.
[00:28:51] I mean, there's so many different things with our kids that are going to quote unquote, throw us off. So walk moms through a little bit about, you know, how we identify, is this something holding me back that like I need to address? Or is this almost something I just need to persevere through to gain consistency because.
[00:29:09] You know, my master's is in public health specifically to behavior changes. So like you, I could geek out over like brain chemistry and behavior change and all the things that play into this forever. But I think with the moms listening, probably want to know is like, when do I know. To just like put my head down and be consistent and just trying to continue to be successful with that one thing.
[00:29:29] Like just keep sticking to it and just stick with that one thing versus when to kind of aboard ship and be like, all right, this is just not happening. So you have advice for moms there of kind of, you know, this was an off day or the unpredictability of motherhood. That you almost need to plan around, or this is something that tells you maybe that this isn't the right habit as your kickstart habit.
[00:29:52] Like maybe you are kind of setting yourself up for. Yeah. Is it time to pivot or do you need to keep pursuing it and passing on? Yeah. And that's hard because there's not, again, there's not like a specific one answer that can be given aside from, I think it's important as moms for us to be very aware of how my feeling about this, like is, is what I'm trying to keep pressing on and causing me stress.
[00:30:19] And does it feel like a burden to the point where. I'm just trying to do it. Cause I think I have to do it versus I'm doing this because I need to do it for myself. And that's like a, it's a hard thing to, I mean, I even have moments where I'm like, okay, am I feeling like I should
[00:30:43] like it's an, I need it. Like, it's a need of mine that I need to keep doing this for. So I don't have like an exact answer. How do you decide if it's time to pivot? And there are so many different ways we can pivot. Do we need to change the time of day that I'm taking this habit on? Do I need to make it a less consistent thing where it's not seven days a week, maybe it's three or four.
[00:31:02] Is it something where I need to work my kids into it now, instead of trying to do it by myself do I need to ask for help? There's so many nuances to how. In certain habits when they don't feel right anymore. And that's totally normal for things, because like you said, the only predictable thing about modern motherhood is how unpredictable it is.
[00:31:24] Unfortunately. So figuring out in this can be like day to day sometimes, and sometimes it's month to month when those seasons change, I think. Some good times to look out for, to know like, kind of think ahead to, okay, this might be something where I need to reevaluate what I'm doing when I'm doing things is when sleep regressions happen or if a kid does start sleeping through the night, that's probably when you can take on a little more, because you're getting more sleep when a kid starts waking up, like you said, saying, okay, maybe I need to change the time of day I'm doing this.
[00:31:59] My husband's in the military. So my first. Our first two deployments. The first one happened at the beginning of 2020 and went through the middle of 2020. And the second one was having two kids under two and in the middle of my weight loss journey. So there was a lot of pivot and going on and it literally is for me like a weekly evaluation of do I need to shift when I'm working out?
[00:32:24] Do I need to do I need to plan to go pick up food at like. Healthy restaurant type place. It's called greens and proteins. I love it. And it's local to where we live in Las Vegas and that's something where I know I can get something that's really nutritious for me, but I don't have to cook it. So do I need to plan to like go pick up food one night because I'm just not going to have the capacity to cook.
[00:32:49] And I try to plan ahead in those seasons and predict when I'm going to need to need to pivot. So it doesn't come up on me in the moment. Cause that can be really stressful. Spontaneously show up that we weren't ready and prepared to deal with. And so I think taking a few minutes every week, maybe on like Saturdays or Sundays has been, especially if you can do this with your husband and saying, okay, I want to prioritize working out four days this week, where can we fit them in, what do I need to make happen?
[00:33:19] Where can you help with the kids maybe so I can get the son alone or do I need to work the kids into it? And just taking a few minutes each week to prepare ahead of time and plan as best you can predict is probably a better word than plan, but especially when they're like, But knowing, okay. There might be a little bit of pivoting this week, then I need to do, or I can stay the course with what I was planning and maybe even add on a little more cause there's space for that.
[00:33:47] So I think thinking ahead is huge. And then in the moment when you're needing to pivot, instead of thinking. How frustrating it is taking a second to go, okay, how can I make this work for me? How can I make this work for my kids? How can it leave a positive impact on them? I've got plenty of days where I don't wake up at 5, 5 30 in the morning and I can't work out before my kids get up.
[00:34:08] And so I go, cool. Today's going to be a day where mid morning I get to work out with my boys. It's not ideal ever. When they're working out with me, I don't get the best workout. I'm constantly pausing it to like, go make sure they don't run into the street. Cause we work out in my garage. So, I mean, it's not perfect, but it's an awesome opportunity for them to see what it looks like for me to care for my body and set that example.
[00:34:30] And I know we talked about on my podcast when I got to interview you. Important it is that we lead by example versus trying to tell them what to do. And when we can work our kids in, even if it's not ideal, it's so impactful on them. I mean, my oldest is only three and a half and he knows what to do with a pair of dumbbells.
[00:34:50] And it's so cute when we go in there to work out, he knows what the equipment's called. He knows what it can do for his body and how it makes them strong. And it's just, it's phenomenal to see the fruit of that by simply leading by example, even when it's not ideal. Yeah, I love that. I think so many things you just said that stuck out to me and I think in general, you know, I love all things, habit, you know, planning and prep and all of that.
[00:35:14] Obviously I often talk about, you know, as it relates to food and meal times and meal prep and things like that, but I think. And just the realm of living a healthy lifestyle and, you know, continuing, like you said, to find one habit you can be successful with and then to continue to build and, you know, sit down and maybe at first it is just that one first kickstart habit that you're looking to sit down and plan and prep and predict how your week is going to go and a fit because similar to like meal planning and things that I often say for families, I'm like, if you, you know, if you're either failing to plan.
[00:35:48] You know, that's a problem. Or if your you know, going after a plan, that's just not realistic to actually what's going to happen. You know, you can plan all these great meals, but if it doesn't actually predict what that night is going to look like, and what does that five to six hour look like and things.
[00:36:00] So I love that you talk about, you know, like taking. You know, setting a five minute timer on your phone, almost just like have that five minutes, one time a week to sit down and really reflect on like, how am I going to make this happen? Step one. And then, you know, how you bring in like the community aspect of whether it be talking to your husband to say like, I need support because I think as moms, especially when we're home with littles, we don't always feel like we have a lot of support.
[00:36:26] We don't always feel like people even see what we're doing. So it's like, well, if I don't do it today, really I'm the only person that knows. And. You and I both know accountability can be huge just from having gotten to be each other's accountability, partners and things. I think, you know, for, for moms to see that community, whether it be your spouse or whether it be building that community with your kids that, Hey, you're my workout buddy today.
[00:36:48] And you are part of how I am going to exercise this follow through muscle because I'm pulling you in, I know you have a great Facebook community that moms really support each other so they can share those. I was up all night, but I really want to be consistent with whatever kickstart habit I said I was going to do, you know, and just sharing in those struggles and those seasons.
[00:37:07] But also encouraging each other in those successes, because I know that you're big on exercising that follow through muscle. And I think that that can be one way. We can plan and we can prepare and we can predict what our weeks are going to look like. But as moms, I think the next step is we have to be expecting to pivot at least at some point, or we at least have to have what is our plan when I need to pivot.
[00:37:30] And I'm very much like you, I expect, you know, my, my plan is to get up and exercise in the morning. My pivot is workout with kids. That's not my. Yeah, that's that's all motherhood really is. It's not normally about our preference. It's just, how do we give it to make these things work? Because otherwise, ultimately we can't be successful with these habits because we're expecting this isolated environment.
[00:37:51] That's not impacted by a million outside factors. I E little kids, you know, and all the, all the changes and challenges that come with that. And so I love how you pair kind of that process for moms, but also with. The need for community and support and not to expect ourselves to like, be able to do this all on our own when the reason that we're having to, you know, put so much time and intention in this is because we don't do life alone.
[00:38:17] We do life with other people. So how do we include them in that process so that they can see our goals and, you know, so they can be impacted and influenced by whether it's. Our our husbands, our kids, our community, our friends, you know, fellow moms and things like your Facebook group, things like that.
[00:38:33] So this has been so fun and so great. And I know that a lot of moms who are just kind of feeling like I want to get started with these habits. And, you know, obviously I talk about a lot of these habits and stuff, but I haven't spent a lot of time. Thus far on the podcast talking about like, how do you start these habits?
[00:38:48] How do you get kick-started with some of these things that you want to do? So I appreciate you coming on here today to share with all the moms listening you know, how they can kind of get started on that journey. So would you share with moms a little bit more about like how they can connect with you where they can find you and all of that.
[00:39:04] Yeah. So you mentioned our Facebook group. It's called the tough love moms squad on Facebook. My podcast is the tough love mom podcast. So that's where you can go to get equipped and a lot of the mindset and like tangible habit principles that are going to help set you up for success with those kickstart habits and with those things that will help with your consistency and showing up Nessus stainable way.
[00:39:25] So those are the best two places to learn and be equipped and encourage. And then I'm also on Instagram at Mrs. Lewis hunter. Awesome. Well, thank you. As I know that as I mentioned earlier, you are the consistency queen, but I also, even though I'm not in this season of what you, you know, kind of the mom that you normally talk to on your podcast, I always get so much out of it just because I want to continue to exercise that follow through muscle and the habits that I do want to have.
[00:39:50] And while today was a little bit of a high level conversation about it. I love that each episode. Is so tactical and practical and you're living this, I mean, again, you have two little ones at home, like you are living and breathing this. You know, if the husband who, you know, serves our country and is gone for deployment and things like that.
[00:40:06] And so you are sharing the systems and the strategies that you have found in really tactical, practical ways. And I am so thankful for that. And I'm thankful for you coming on to share that with the moms. Yeah, thanks for having me I'm today.
[00:40:21] It has been a joy having you on podcast today, and if you've enjoyed it as well, I have a quick favor to ask. Do you mind hopping over to apple podcasts and leaving me a written review? This will only take you a hot second, but it truly blesses me every time I get to read one of you right over there. And it allows me to bless others through this podcast and the episodes to calf.
[00:40:41] The other thing that you can. To take a screenshot of this episode and tag me over on Instagram at veggies and virtue, I would love to see what action steps that you're taking from this episode, and also to support your family in the journey moving forward until next time. Thanks for coming over to chat at my kitchen counter.
[00:40:57] Remember that you will always have a seat and a snack waiting for you here.
